在悉尼当奶爸,很tired! ,2012年01月11日 19:20,上海侨报

在悉尼当奶爸,很tired! ,2012年01月11日 19:20,上海侨报
  
2006年大学毕业,李栋和她的女朋友一起去了悉尼继续深造和生活。这是他俩一早就规划好的事情。读书、结婚、绿卡、入籍,这一切都按照计划进行着,当然,进行得磕磕绊绊。

   2010年对李栋来说,是值得铭记的一年。李栋是儿子,是丈夫,是打工者,是朋友,是同学。在2010年11月,他的身份中,又多了一项:父亲。接下来的2011年,他一直为平衡父亲、丈夫、打工者,这3个身份而努力。

   2010年,李栋的妻子坚持要让孩子降生在中国。2010年下半年,李栋陪着待产的妻子回到国内。2010年11月,孩子降生。2011年年初,伺候完月子的李栋,孤身一人先返回澳大利亚,为跟还在国内的娘儿俩将来的团圆做着准备。

   记者/卜微沛

   从收银员,到实习经理

   以一个打工者的身份,在澳大利亚生活,这对李栋来说,跟这个国家已经没有了陌生感。早在读硕士的时候,李栋就一直在澳大利亚找兼职,和其他一些中国留学生不一样,李栋一直瞄着白人的企业,他认为:只有进这样的企业,才算真正融入了澳大利亚社会。

   应该说,李栋的第一步选择是相当精彩的。

   2007年,李栋参加了他在澳大利亚、同时,也是人生路上的第一次面试,申请的职位,是在一家类似国内家乐福的大卖场里当收银员。这家大卖场主要卖的是各种电子设备。

   面试过程并不轻松,首先是20个人分组,进行情景扮演,然后,是一对一的面谈。“那时,我刚到澳大利亚3个月,英语面试,着实让我捏了一把汗。”李栋说。

   好在一切顺利,几天后,李栋得到了这个工作机会。

   回忆起这第一份工作,李栋的感情十分复杂。这份工作,带给了他很多收获,但同时,也间接地造成了后来的一些窘迫。

   “干了一段时间后,我从简单的收银工作,开始偏向销售的工作。”李栋说,“这段时间,给了我完美的锻炼英语的机会,我的英语突飞猛进。再加上我对科技产品很感兴趣,老板对我的印象很好。”

   在李栋毕业前不久,老板特意找他谈话,问他:愿不愿意继续留在大卖场当实习经理?

   李栋接受了当实习经理的邀请。他的想法是,在当实习经理期间,一边赚钱,一边找其他和他会计专业相关的工作。很快,他发现:自己错得一塌糊涂。

   在这家超市顺利的工作经历,让李栋的职业发展有些“停滞不前”。

   “好机会过早地降临到我头上,让我不思进取了。我觉得:在超市里顺风顺水的时候,其他同学开始寻找和专业相关的兼职工作了。我在大卖场的工作,显然对我后来的职业发展,没有什么帮助。”李栋解释说:“实习经理和普通印象中的经理,天壤之别,除了拿着经理中最低的工资外,剩下的,就是需要比别人工作更长的时间和干更杂更脏的活儿。”尽管通过实习经理这个身份,李栋有机会结识公司里的其他高管,也有人向他推荐职位,但是,李栋根本没有机会和时间去应聘。

   “对于每天工作10到12小时的我来说,想腾时间出来写份简历,去找其他工作,简直是在做白日梦。”

   2010年年中,一场持续两周的高烧,给了李栋一个离开大卖场的契机。此时,和他一起到悉尼的女朋友,已经成了他的妻子,并且,已经怀孕。于是,李栋辞去了原本就不打算长干的工作,陪老婆回国生孩子。

   找工作,如过山车

   2011年,李栋作为先遣队,只身返回澳大利亚,他的目标,是在那里,再次站稳脚跟,给妻儿创造一个良好的生活环境。

   临行之前,李栋曾经对朋友说,他很有信心找到好工作。他觉得:华人在澳大利亚很难融入当地,只能在有限的行业里找工作,最主要是,因为语言不过关。不过,他认为:经过了几年的销售工作,在语言方面,他有绝对的自信。

   然而,在待业了5个月之后,李栋一无所获,只能改变行程,在2011年5月底,再次返回中国。总结这5个月的应聘经历,李栋觉得:是自己的过分自信,甚至自傲,导致了最终一无所获。

   2011年年初,李栋刚到悉尼不久,就得到当地四大银行之一的面试机会。一切进行得相当顺利,在正式工作之前,最后一道工序,是背景调查。没想到,银行认为:李栋提供的内容不实,因此,拒绝了他。

   此后,李栋一直在找当地“优秀毕业生计划”中,给面向毕业生的那些高级职位的工作,而对其他社会招聘的普通工作机会,压根就看不上眼。这些“优秀毕业生计划”中的单位录取比例,和中国招考公务员热门岗位类似,竞争相当激烈。

   “结果,我愚蠢的自傲,让我结结实实了吃了次大亏。”李栋说,那些日子,除了压力外,他的信心,也随着一次一次的应聘失败,而降到了最低点。家人也觉得:他应该回国休整一下。

   待在国内的这段时间,李栋对自己这5个月的经历做了总结:“我应该去参加一些营利性质的培训机构混经验和推荐。当时,我做的就是不停地投递自己的简历,调查每个公司的背景后,根据情况,修改简历内容和申请表格里问题的答案,的确也做了不少努力。可是,现在想来,应该花同样的时间,去投递范围更广的社会招聘,甚至主动上雇主的公司,毛遂自荐。”

   2011年7月,李栋和老婆、孩子一起,回到了澳大利亚,开始了第二次找工作的旅程。彼时,只在上半年推出的“毕业生计划”已经结束。李栋虽然经过反省,自傲有所收敛,可是程度有限。在接下来的应聘中,尤其是在对相关领域工作经验,有较高要求的社会招聘中,他依然频频碰壁,虽然,也有些面试机会,但是,都无果而终。

   李栋离工作岗位最近的一次,是应聘一家大型保险公司的内部项目管理分析员。当进行到最后一步的时候,对方很客气说,他很优秀,但是,他们认为:其他人更合适。

   8月底,一家银行的当地区域经理打电话问李栋:有没有时间去面试一下?之前,李栋在这家银行投过简历,应聘的是一个临时工。“当时,最后的面试官、一个法国女人没有选聘我。”李栋说。

   在接到这家银行区域经理的电话时,李栋差不多把这家银行都给忘了,但他还是很认真地准备起来。

   这次的面试官,是一名40岁左右的壮汉,就是给他打电话的区域经理。他和李栋聊了不到5分钟,就说:“你知道吗?你被录用了。”第二天,李栋正式上班了。

   李栋至今想起这5分钟,都觉得不可思议。他说:“我不知道那么短的时间里,他看上了我什么。”

   多花时间和孩子一起

   身为父亲的生活,总是琐碎而且单调的。李栋不敢保证自己是一个好爸爸,但是,他自评为一个愿意花时间和孩子在一起的爸爸。

   孩子刚刚出生的那会儿,李栋几乎什么都不会。在妈妈和丈母娘教了几次后,换尿布、喂奶、洗澡、逗孩子等工作,他就全包了。

   妻子坐月子期间,李栋平均一天,累计睡觉不超过5小时,没有双休日,没有白天和黑夜之分。“在这段时间里,内心有时也有过抱怨,有时想,如果没有这孩子就好了。不过,很快抱怨,就被责任心代替了,尤其是孩子半岁后,一家三口,一块在悉尼时。”李栋说。

   2011年7月,李栋没有工作的一个多月里,每天都和老婆,孩子待在一起,日子非常有规律。

   在找到这份全职工作后,李栋仍然保持着有规律的过日子,白天照看孩子的任务,基本由老婆完成。

   李栋7点左右上班,孩子差不多同时醒了,老婆就起来,开始职业家庭主妇的一天,照看孩子。下班后,李栋回到家,第一件事,就是洗手,喂宝宝吃晚饭,然后,陪他玩一个小时。接下来,是洗澡,喝睡前,最后一次牛奶,睡觉。一周七天,节假日无休,天天如此。

   让李栋最有当爸爸感觉的是,

   哄孩子睡觉。“带孩子最累的,就是让他睡觉,要保证他按时睡,而且,睡够,这可不是容易活。”

   李栋待业在家时,他觉得儿子挺老实。不知怎么的,在他开始工作后,儿子忽然开始不好好睡觉了。“我千方百计想方法、看书、咨询、多次试验,总结经验。书上建议:在没有眼神交流的情况下,把小孩放上小床躺着,如果孩子站起来了,就继续放。”

   孩子不好好睡觉时,李栋最多曾经连续抱起,放下四,五十次,终于哄得孩子睡着了。“这种成就感是巨大的,我听说过,许多国内的爸爸、妈妈在这项上,都缴械投降,我们在自己的坚持下,还是取得了成功。”李栋说。

   “作为爸爸,尤其是在孩子半岁后,我总是把陪他,排在第一位,保证有充足的时间陪他玩,也给老婆一个休息的机会。和其他同龄爸爸相比,我在照顾孩子上的技能上,更厉害些。当我的一些朋友大声呼唤老婆,来给他女儿换尿布的时候,我已经直接抄起尿片,披挂上阵了,因为,我相信:这不仅是让老婆休息的一种表现,也是体会当爸爸参与其中的一种乐趣。对于老婆和孩子,我永远把他们放在第一位,没有任何人或事-比他们来得更加重要。”

   最难是妻子的心理调节

   “我比较懒惰,赖床、拖拉和邋遢,这些坏习惯我都有。”李栋说,“所以,我觉得:自己算不得尽职的好丈夫。”2007年,李栋和他妻子一起出国之后,几乎每顿饭,都是妻子负责的,饭后洗碗,很大一部分,也是妻子完成的。

   例外,发生在李栋去年年初,只身去澳大利亚找工作。离开了妻子,李栋的生活,马上就变乱了。那段时间里,早的时候,他6点,就起床,晚的话,下午3点起床,也有过。他几乎把所有的时间,都用在写简历和投简历上,生活没有规律可言。

   为了改变自身习惯,李栋给自己立了一个规矩,没找到工作,就不叫外卖或者出去吃。这点,他做到了,每天烧一顿,吃一天,或者就吃拌面馄饨,这样简单的。

   初到澳大利亚就获得收银工作,让李栋和他妻子的生活,瞬间变得丰富起来。他们时不时外出吃饭,节假日经常一起出门购物,好玩的李栋,还买了当时最新的游戏机和高清电视。

   李栋认为:自己作为丈夫的责任,很大一部分是和工作联系在一起的。“一开始的工作,让我后来少了危机意识,现在想来,逐步认识到:我作为丈夫开始不合格了。”

   老婆刚怀孕时,李栋还在实习经理的岗位上。“晚上下班到家,起码是7点,回家后,才开始烧饭烧菜给我老婆吃。兼顾工作和家务,实在让我在时间上捉襟见肘。尤其孕妇有时候,特别想吃某样东西的时候,你不在最短的时间内弄到的话,基本一顿饭,就没胃口了。”李栋说。

   有一次,妻子想吃韩国炸酱面,李栋满足这个要求的唯一方法,就是去韩国店买,而且要快。李栋不知道炸酱面-用英语该怎么说,更不知道用韩语该怎么说。他只好先去超市,买了包韩国炸酱方便面,比划着告诉店家-自己的要求,这样,跑了5家店,他终于买到了。“还好,这些店相距不远,回来后,老婆还有胃口。”

   两头兼顾的生活,最终让李栋病倒了,这就是促使他从实习经理的岗位上-辞职的那次长达2周的发高烧。好在这段时间,他母亲,从中国飞去帮忙。

   “平衡工作和家庭,着实没有想象中那么容易,尤其是,没有其他家人能在需要的时候-帮一把的情况下,事事都要自己扛了。虽然,银行的工作不是很忙,但每天在路上,耗费2个半小时的车程,让我陪家人的时间少了不少,早上7点多一点,就要出门,晚上到家,大约6点到6点半之间。看着老婆整天带孩子,我心里实在有些不忍心。”一到假日,李栋尽可能地帮助妻子带孩子。一到双休日,李栋就主动带孩子玩。不过,说到妻子心理上的调节和放松,他就一筹莫展了。

   因为,要在家照顾孩子,所以,澳大利亚家庭里的母亲和社会接触就会变少,很容易出现易怒、对任何事情,都没有兴趣、缺乏目标等情绪。李栋家,也没有例外。

   “我老婆本来就性格内向,再加上语言问题,逐渐对这里的社会不感兴趣。以前,其实也有这样的迹象,不过,没孩子的时候,还好些,现在,多个孩子,晚上7点后,就算是宵禁了。他一睡,咱们就出不去了。”李栋说,“想到国内小夫妻,总是把孩子交给爷爷奶奶,或者外公外婆带,我挺感激我老婆的,在没有老人的帮助下,把孩子养得挺好的,她也不容易。”

   较少接触社会和没人说话等问题,导致轻度抑郁,这在西方人群里很普遍。李栋说:“抑郁问题现在还无法解决,希望以后会好。不过,我还是很佩服这里的妈妈们,就和老公两个人,带着3个,甚至4个孩子,生活还很滋润。”
When the wet nurse in Sydney, very tired! , At 19:20 on January 11, 2012, Shanghai Overseas Chinese News

Graduating from college in 2006, Li Dong and her girlfriend went to Sydney to continue their studies and life. They planned a long time ago this is a good thing. School, marriage, green card, naturalization, all according to plan with, of course, was carried out stumbling.

Li Dong in 2010, it is worth bearing in mind the year. Li Dong is the son, a husband, a migrant workers, are friends and classmates. In November 2010, his identity, the addition of one: his father. Then in 2011, he has been to balance the fathers, husbands, migrant workers, the identity of these three efforts.

In 2010, Li Dong’s wife insisted to let the children born in China. Second half of 2010, Li Dong accompanied his wife back home to be produced. November 2010, the child was born. In early 2011, son of Li Dong end up wait, alone to return to Australia, as with domestic Nianger Liang is also getting ready for the future reunion.

Reporters / BU micro-Pei

From cashiers to practice manager

The identity of a migrant workers, living in Australia, which Li Dong is with this country has no strangeness. As early as in the Master, when Li Dong has been in Australia looking for part-time, and not the same as some other Chinese students, Li Dong has been the enterprise aim at whites, he said: Only enter this business, truly integrated into Australian society .

It should be said, the first step in Li Dong is a very exciting choice.

In 2007, Li Dong joined him in Australia, and also the first life on the road interview, apply for jobs, is similar in a Carrefour hypermarket in the country when the cashier. This major supermarkets sell a variety of electronic devices.

Interview process is not easy, the first group of 20 individuals, for scenario play, then, is one to one interviews. “At that time, I arrived in Australia three months, English interview, really made me to sweat.” Li Dong said.

Fortunately, all goes well, a few days later, Li Dong got the job.

Remembers the first job, Li Dong feelings is very complicated. This work brought him a lot of gains, but also indirectly caused some distress later.

“Done for some time, I work from a simple cash register, sales began to favor the work.” Li Dong said, “this time, gave me the perfect opportunity to practice your English, my English is leaps and bounds. Plus I very interested in technology products, a very good impression on my boss. ”

In Li Dong graduated long ago, specifically looking for the boss to talk to him, asked him: willing to remain a trainee manager in supermarkets?

Dong Li accepted the invitation of a trainee manager. His idea is that in the period when the practice manager, while making money, while looking the other related to the accounting profession and his work. Soon, he found: his mistake was a mess.

Successful in the supermarket work experience, career development so that some of Li Dong “stagnant.”

“A good opportunity to come into my head too early, let me lazy a, I think: so smooth in the supermarket when the other students began looking for part-time and professional work related to my work in supermarkets, it is clear I later career, did not help. “Li Dong explained:” practice manager and the general impression of the manager, worlds apart, in addition to holding a manager in the minimum wage, the rest, is the need to work than others longer and more complex dry more dirty job. “Despite this status through the practice manager, Li Dong opportunity to meet the company’s other executives, it was recommended to him jobs, but there is no chance and the time Li Dong to candidates.

“For working 10-12 hours a day for me, like Teng time out to write resumes, find other work, is simply daydreaming.”

Mid-2010, a two-week high fever, gave Li Dong a opportunity to leave the mall. At this point, and his girlfriend went to Sydney, has become his wife, and, already pregnant. Thus, Li Dong resigned from the original work is not intended to long dry, to accompany his wife to return children.

Looking for work, such as the roller coaster

In 2011, Li Dong as the advance team, alone return to Australia, his goal is there, again, stand firm, to his wife and children to create a good living environment.

Before leaving, Li Dong has told friends that he was confident to find a good job. He felt: the Chinese in Australia is difficult to integrate into the local, only in a limited industry looking for work, mainly because of the language, but off. However, he said: After several years of sales, in the language, he has absolute confidence.

However, after five months unemployed, Li Dong nothing, only to change the itinerary, in the end of May 2011, again returned to China. Summing up the experience of five months of the candidates, Li Dong think: is their over-confident, even arrogant, and ultimately led to nothing.

In early 2011, Li Donggang to Sydney soon after by the local banks, one of the four interview. Everything proceeded smoothly, at the official before the final process, the background investigation. Unexpectedly, the bank said: Li Dong provided the content is not real, therefore, refused him.

Since then, Li Dong has been looking for local “Outstanding Graduate Scheme”, to senior positions for graduates who work and other social recruitment of the ordinary jobs, are they disdain. These “outstanding graduates plan” admission units in proportion, and China to recruit staff positions similar to the popular, the competition is fierce.

“As a result, my foolish pride, I had time to eat solidly burned.” Li Dong said, those days, in addition to pressure, his confidence, but also as a failure of one of the candidates, and the lowest level . Family feel: he should return to rest it.

Stay in the country this time, Li Dong for their five-month experience, summarized: “I should go to some of the profit-making nature of the training institution and the recommended mix of experience, when I do is keep their delivery resume, after investigating the background of each company, under the circumstances, to modify the contents of resumes and application forms in answer to the question, really has done a lot of effort. But now want to come, should spend the same time, to deliver a wider range of social recruitment, or even take the initiative on the employer’s company, volunteered. ”

July 2011, Li Dong and his wife, with their children, returned to Australia, began a second journey to find a job. That time, only in the first half of the “graduate program” has ended. Li Dong even after reflection, pride restraint, but to a limited extent. In the following candidates, especially in the relevant field experience, have a higher recruitment requirements of the society, he still frequently run into a wall, although some interview, however, are fruitless.

Li Dong from a recent work, is the candidate of a large insurance company’s internal project management analyst. When the time for the final step, the other very politely said he was good, but they think: someone else more appropriate.

The end of August, a bank’s local area manager for Dial-a-Dong Li: There is no time to look at the interview? Before, Li Dong in the bank cast a resume, candidates are a temporary worker. “At that time, the last of the interviewer, a French woman is not hiring me.” Li Dong said.

Upon receipt of the bank regional manager of the phone, Li Dong gave almost forgot this bank, but he is very careful to prepare them.

The interviewer, is a brawny 40-year-old, is the regional manager to call him. He and Li Dong talked less than five minutes, said: “You know what? You are hired.” The next day, Li Dong officially to work.

Li Dong has remembered five minutes, all seems unbelievable. He said: “I do not know such a short time, he took a fancy to me what.”

Spend more time with their children

As his father’s life, is always trivial and monotonous. Li Dong can not guarantee that he is a good father, but since he is willing to spend time as a father and child together.

Newborn child had never been seen, Li Dong almost nothing will. Taught in the mother and the wife’s mother several times, changing diapers, feeding, bathing, with the baby, etc., he had the whole package.

His wife during confinement, Li Dongping all day, total sleep no more than 5 hours, no weekends, no day and night of the points. “During this time, the heart and sometimes there have been complaints, sometimes think that if the child does not like, but soon complained, he was replaced by a sense of responsibility, especially in children after six months of age, a family of three, one in Sydney time. “Li Dong said.

July 2011, Li Dong did not work more than a month, every day, and their wives and children to be together, life is very regular.

Found the full-time work, Li Dong remained a regular live, daytime child care tasks, the basic completion of the wife.

Li Dong to work around 7:00, about the same time the children woke up, my wife got up and began the day job housewife, looking after the children. After work, Li Dong home, the first thing is to wash, feed your baby to eat dinner, then play with him for an hour. Next, take a bath, drink before going to bed, the last milk, sleep. Seven days a week, holidays, round, every day.

Let Li Dong feel the most when the father is

Coax the child to sleep. “The most tired children, is to let him sleep on time to ensure his sleep, and sleep enough, this is not easy to live.”

Li Dong unemployed at home, he felt his son quite honest. I do not know how, he began to work, her son suddenly started not good sleep. “I do everything possible to find ways, reading, counseling, many times, sum up experience. Book recommendations: In the case of no eye contact, to put a small child lying in bed, if the child stood up to put on.”

When children do not sleep good, Li Dong has continuously picked up, put down 40 to 50 times, and finally flatter the child fell asleep. “This accomplishment is enormous, and I’ve heard, many domestic father, my mother in this, have to surrender, in our own insistence, was a success.” Li Dong said.

“As a father, especially in children six months old, I always accompany him, came in first, to ensure there is enough time to play with him, but also to his wife a chance to rest. And father than their peers I take care of the child’s skills, even more powerful when some of my friends loudly calling his wife to give his daughter when changing diapers, I took a direct diapers, go into battle, because, I believe: that is not only a manifestation of rest to his wife, but also understand when my father involved in a fun for my wife and kids, I always put them first, no person or thing – are much more important than they. ”

His wife’s psychological adjustment is the most difficult

“I’m lazy, stay in bed, drag and dirty, I have these bad habits.” Li Dong said, “So, I think: a good husband own a lot of money due diligence.” In 2007, Li Dong and his wife to go abroad after , almost every meal, are responsible for his wife, washing dishes after a meal, a large part, is his wife completed.

Exception occurred in the Li Dong early last year and moved to Australia to find work. Left his wife, Li Dong’s life, immediately turmoil of. During that time, early, when he was six points, to get up late, then get up at 3 pm, and there have been. He almost all the time, are cast with a resume and resume writing, and life there is no law at all.

In order to change their habits, Li Dong established a rule for himself, did not find a job, do not go out to eat or takeout. This point, he did every day burning meal, eat one day, or eat wonton noodles, so simple.

First arrived in Australia on access to the cash register work, so that Li Dong and his wife’s life, and instantly become enriched. They occasionally go out to dinner, holidays often go out shopping, fun Li Dong, also bought the then-new game consoles and high definition television.

Li Dong said: his responsibility as a husband, and a large part of the work linked. “In the beginning of the work, so I was less a sense of crisis, and now want to come, gradually come to realize: I am a failure as a husband began.”

Just pregnant wife, Li Dong is still practice manager positions. “Home from work at night, at least 7, at home, started cooking and cooking for my wife to eat. Balance work and home, I really stretched in time, especially pregnant women sometimes want to eat something in particular when you do not get the shortest possible time, then, the basic meal, no appetite. “Li Dong said.

On one occasion, his wife wanted to eat Korean noodles, Li Dong, the only way to meet this requirement, is to store to buy South Korea, and fast. Li Dong noodles do not know – what to say in English, but do not know what to say in Korean. He had to go to the supermarket, bought a packet of instant noodles Korean fried bean sauce, gestures to tell the store – their own requirements, so that ran five stores, he finally bought. “Fortunately, not far from these stores, came back, my wife still appetite.”

Two balanced life, eventually Li Dong became ill, and this is prompting him from the practice manager’s position – that the resignation of a high fever of up to 2 weeks. Fortunately this time, his mother, flew from China to help.

“Balance work and family, really is not so easy to imagine, in particular, no other family members in time of need – to help one’s case, everything must carry their own up, though, the bank’s job is not busy, but day on the road, spent two and a half hour drive, I with my family a lot less time, 7 am, it is necessary to go out, at home, around 6:00 to 6:30 between watching the wife children all day, my heart is somewhat not bear. “a weekend or holiday, Li Dong as much as possible to help his wife with children. One weekend, Li Dong children play on the initiative. But when it comes to his wife psychological adjustment and relax, he can do nothing of.

Because, to care for their children at home, so the mother of the Australian family and social contacts will become less prone to anger, for anything, have no interest, lack of goals, and other emotions. Li Dong home, is no exception.

“My wife already introverted, coupled with language problems, and gradually the community here is not interested before, in fact, there are such signs, however, no child, but also better, now, more than one child, after 7 pm , even a curfew. he slept, we would not get out. “Li Dong said,” think of the domestic small husband and wife, always the child to the grandparents, or grandparents with, I am very grateful to my wife, in the absence of help the elderly, raise children, quite good, she is not easy. ”

Less contact with the community and no one to speak and so on, leading to mild depression, which is very common in Western populations. Dong Li said: “The depression is still not resolved, hope will be better, but I still admire the mothers here, and her husband on two people, with three or even four children, life is still very moist.”

《在悉尼当奶爸,很tired! ,2012年01月11日 19:20,上海侨报》有2个想法

  1. 美国总统奥巴马特别代表、财政部长盖特纳

    Special Representative of U.S. President Barack Obama, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner

  2. 在悉尼当奶爸,很tired! ,2012年01月11日 19:20,上海侨报
      
    2006年大学毕业,李栋和她的女朋友一起去了悉尼继续深造和生活。这是他俩一早就规划好的事情。读书、结婚、绿卡、入籍,这一切都按照计划进行着,当然,进行得磕磕绊绊。

       2010年对李栋来说,是值得铭记的一年。李栋是儿子,是丈夫,是打工者,是朋友,是同学。在2010年11月,他的身份中,又多了一项:父亲。接下来的2011年,他一直为平衡父亲、丈夫、打工者,这3个身份而努力。

       2010年,李栋的妻子坚持要让孩子降生在中国。2010年下半年,李栋陪着待产的妻子回到国内。2010年11月,孩子降生。2011年年初,伺候完月子的李栋,孤身一人先返回澳大利亚,为跟还在国内的娘儿俩将来的团圆做着准备。

       记者/卜微沛

       从收银员,到实习经理

       以一个打工者的身份,在澳大利亚生活,这对李栋来说,跟这个国家已经没有了陌生感。早在读硕士的时候,李栋就一直在澳大利亚找兼职,和其他一些中国留学生不一样,李栋一直瞄着白人的企业,他认为:只有进这样的企业,才算真正融入了澳大利亚社会。

       应该说,李栋的第一步选择是相当精彩的。

       2007年,李栋参加了他在澳大利亚、同时,也是人生路上的第一次面试,申请的职位,是在一家类似国内家乐福的大卖场里当收银员。这家大卖场主要卖的是各种电子设备。

       面试过程并不轻松,首先是20个人分组,进行情景扮演,然后,是一对一的面谈。“那时,我刚到澳大利亚3个月,英语面试,着实让我捏了一把汗。”李栋说。

       好在一切顺利,几天后,李栋得到了这个工作机会。

       回忆起这第一份工作,李栋的感情十分复杂。这份工作,带给了他很多收获,但同时,也间接地造成了后来的一些窘迫。

       “干了一段时间后,我从简单的收银工作,开始偏向销售的工作。”李栋说,“这段时间,给了我完美的锻炼英语的机会,我的英语突飞猛进。再加上我对科技产品很感兴趣,老板对我的印象很好。”

       在李栋毕业前不久,老板特意找他谈话,问他:愿不愿意继续留在大卖场当实习经理?

       李栋接受了当实习经理的邀请。他的想法是,在当实习经理期间,一边赚钱,一边找其他和他会计专业相关的工作。很快,他发现:自己错得一塌糊涂。

       在这家超市顺利的工作经历,让李栋的职业发展有些“停滞不前”。

       “好机会过早地降临到我头上,让我不思进取了。我觉得:在超市里顺风顺水的时候,其他同学开始寻找和专业相关的兼职工作了。我在大卖场的工作,显然对我后来的职业发展,没有什么帮助。”李栋解释说:“实习经理和普通印象中的经理,天壤之别,除了拿着经理中最低的工资外,剩下的,就是需要比别人工作更长的时间和干更杂更脏的活儿。”尽管通过实习经理这个身份,李栋有机会结识公司里的其他高管,也有人向他推荐职位,但是,李栋根本没有机会和时间去应聘。

       “对于每天工作10到12小时的我来说,想腾时间出来写份简历,去找其他工作,简直是在做白日梦。”

       2010年年中,一场持续两周的高烧,给了李栋一个离开大卖场的契机。此时,和他一起到悉尼的女朋友,已经成了他的妻子,并且,已经怀孕。于是,李栋辞去了原本就不打算长干的工作,陪老婆回国生孩子。

       找工作,如过山车

       2011年,李栋作为先遣队,只身返回澳大利亚,他的目标,是在那里,再次站稳脚跟,给妻儿创造一个良好的生活环境。

       临行之前,李栋曾经对朋友说,他很有信心找到好工作。他觉得:华人在澳大利亚很难融入当地,只能在有限的行业里找工作,最主要是,因为语言不过关。不过,他认为:经过了几年的销售工作,在语言方面,他有绝对的自信。

       然而,在待业了5个月之后,李栋一无所获,只能改变行程,在2011年5月底,再次返回中国。总结这5个月的应聘经历,李栋觉得:是自己的过分自信,甚至自傲,导致了最终一无所获。

       2011年年初,李栋刚到悉尼不久,就得到当地四大银行之一的面试机会。一切进行得相当顺利,在正式工作之前,最后一道工序,是背景调查。没想到,银行认为:李栋提供的内容不实,因此,拒绝了他。

       此后,李栋一直在找当地“优秀毕业生计划”中,给面向毕业生的那些高级职位的工作,而对其他社会招聘的普通工作机会,压根就看不上眼。这些“优秀毕业生计划”中的单位录取比例,和中国招考公务员热门岗位类似,竞争相当激烈。

       “结果,我愚蠢的自傲,让我结结实实了吃了次大亏。”李栋说,那些日子,除了压力外,他的信心,也随着一次一次的应聘失败,而降到了最低点。家人也觉得:他应该回国休整一下。

       待在国内的这段时间,李栋对自己这5个月的经历做了总结:“我应该去参加一些营利性质的培训机构混经验和推荐。当时,我做的就是不停地投递自己的简历,调查每个公司的背景后,根据情况,修改简历内容和申请表格里问题的答案,的确也做了不少努力。可是,现在想来,应该花同样的时间,去投递范围更广的社会招聘,甚至主动上雇主的公司,毛遂自荐。”

       2011年7月,李栋和老婆、孩子一起,回到了澳大利亚,开始了第二次找工作的旅程。彼时,只在上半年推出的“毕业生计划”已经结束。李栋虽然经过反省,自傲有所收敛,可是程度有限。在接下来的应聘中,尤其是在对相关领域工作经验,有较高要求的社会招聘中,他依然频频碰壁,虽然,也有些面试机会,但是,都无果而终。

       李栋离工作岗位最近的一次,是应聘一家大型保险公司的内部项目管理分析员。当进行到最后一步的时候,对方很客气说,他很优秀,但是,他们认为:其他人更合适。

       8月底,一家银行的当地区域经理打电话问李栋:有没有时间去面试一下?之前,李栋在这家银行投过简历,应聘的是一个临时工。“当时,最后的面试官、一个法国女人没有选聘我。”李栋说。

       在接到这家银行区域经理的电话时,李栋差不多把这家银行都给忘了,但他还是很认真地准备起来。

       这次的面试官,是一名40岁左右的壮汉,就是给他打电话的区域经理。他和李栋聊了不到5分钟,就说:“你知道吗?你被录用了。”第二天,李栋正式上班了。

       李栋至今想起这5分钟,都觉得不可思议。他说:“我不知道那么短的时间里,他看上了我什么。”

       多花时间和孩子一起

       身为父亲的生活,总是琐碎而且单调的。李栋不敢保证自己是一个好爸爸,但是,他自评为一个愿意花时间和孩子在一起的爸爸。

       孩子刚刚出生的那会儿,李栋几乎什么都不会。在妈妈和丈母娘教了几次后,换尿布、喂奶、洗澡、逗孩子等工作,他就全包了。

       妻子坐月子期间,李栋平均一天,累计睡觉不超过5小时,没有双休日,没有白天和黑夜之分。“在这段时间里,内心有时也有过抱怨,有时想,如果没有这孩子就好了。不过,很快抱怨,就被责任心代替了,尤其是孩子半岁后,一家三口,一块在悉尼时。”李栋说。

       2011年7月,李栋没有工作的一个多月里,每天都和老婆,孩子待在一起,日子非常有规律。

       在找到这份全职工作后,李栋仍然保持着有规律的过日子,白天照看孩子的任务,基本由老婆完成。

       李栋7点左右上班,孩子差不多同时醒了,老婆就起来,开始职业家庭主妇的一天,照看孩子。下班后,李栋回到家,第一件事,就是洗手,喂宝宝吃晚饭,然后,陪他玩一个小时。接下来,是洗澡,喝睡前,最后一次牛奶,睡觉。一周七天,节假日无休,天天如此。

       让李栋最有当爸爸感觉的是,

       哄孩子睡觉。“带孩子最累的,就是让他睡觉,要保证他按时睡,而且,睡够,这可不是容易活。”

       李栋待业在家时,他觉得儿子挺老实。不知怎么的,在他开始工作后,儿子忽然开始不好好睡觉了。“我千方百计想方法、看书、咨询、多次试验,总结经验。书上建议:在没有眼神交流的情况下,把小孩放上小床躺着,如果孩子站起来了,就继续放。”

       孩子不好好睡觉时,李栋最多曾经连续抱起,放下四,五十次,终于哄得孩子睡着了。“这种成就感是巨大的,我听说过,许多国内的爸爸、妈妈在这项上,都缴械投降,我们在自己的坚持下,还是取得了成功。”李栋说。

       “作为爸爸,尤其是在孩子半岁后,我总是把陪他,排在第一位,保证有充足的时间陪他玩,也给老婆一个休息的机会。和其他同龄爸爸相比,我在照顾孩子上的技能上,更厉害些。当我的一些朋友大声呼唤老婆,来给他女儿换尿布的时候,我已经直接抄起尿片,披挂上阵了,因为,我相信:这不仅是让老婆休息的一种表现,也是体会当爸爸参与其中的一种乐趣。对于老婆和孩子,我永远把他们放在第一位,没有任何人或事-比他们来得更加重要。”

       最难是妻子的心理调节

       “我比较懒惰,赖床、拖拉和邋遢,这些坏习惯我都有。”李栋说,“所以,我觉得:自己算不得尽职的好丈夫。”2007年,李栋和他妻子一起出国之后,几乎每顿饭,都是妻子负责的,饭后洗碗,很大一部分,也是妻子完成的。

       例外,发生在李栋去年年初,只身去澳大利亚找工作。离开了妻子,李栋的生活,马上就变乱了。那段时间里,早的时候,他6点,就起床,晚的话,下午3点起床,也有过。他几乎把所有的时间,都用在写简历和投简历上,生活没有规律可言。

       为了改变自身习惯,李栋给自己立了一个规矩,没找到工作,就不叫外卖或者出去吃。这点,他做到了,每天烧一顿,吃一天,或者就吃拌面馄饨,这样简单的。

       初到澳大利亚就获得收银工作,让李栋和他妻子的生活,瞬间变得丰富起来。他们时不时外出吃饭,节假日经常一起出门购物,好玩的李栋,还买了当时最新的游戏机和高清电视。

       李栋认为:自己作为丈夫的责任,很大一部分是和工作联系在一起的。“一开始的工作,让我后来少了危机意识,现在想来,逐步认识到:我作为丈夫开始不合格了。”

       老婆刚怀孕时,李栋还在实习经理的岗位上。“晚上下班到家,起码是7点,回家后,才开始烧饭烧菜给我老婆吃。兼顾工作和家务,实在让我在时间上捉襟见肘。尤其孕妇有时候,特别想吃某样东西的时候,你不在最短的时间内弄到的话,基本一顿饭,就没胃口了。”李栋说。

       有一次,妻子想吃韩国炸酱面,李栋满足这个要求的唯一方法,就是去韩国店买,而且要快。李栋不知道炸酱面-用英语该怎么说,更不知道用韩语该怎么说。他只好先去超市,买了包韩国炸酱方便面,比划着告诉店家-自己的要求,这样,跑了5家店,他终于买到了。“还好,这些店相距不远,回来后,老婆还有胃口。”

       两头兼顾的生活,最终让李栋病倒了,这就是促使他从实习经理的岗位上-辞职的那次长达2周的发高烧。好在这段时间,他母亲,从中国飞去帮忙。

       “平衡工作和家庭,着实没有想象中那么容易,尤其是,没有其他家人能在需要的时候-帮一把的情况下,事事都要自己扛了。虽然,银行的工作不是很忙,但每天在路上,耗费2个半小时的车程,让我陪家人的时间少了不少,早上7点多一点,就要出门,晚上到家,大约6点到6点半之间。看着老婆整天带孩子,我心里实在有些不忍心。”一到假日,李栋尽可能地帮助妻子带孩子。一到双休日,李栋就主动带孩子玩。不过,说到妻子心理上的调节和放松,他就一筹莫展了。

       因为,要在家照顾孩子,所以,澳大利亚家庭里的母亲和社会接触就会变少,很容易出现易怒、对任何事情,都没有兴趣、缺乏目标等情绪。李栋家,也没有例外。

       “我老婆本来就性格内向,再加上语言问题,逐渐对这里的社会不感兴趣。以前,其实也有这样的迹象,不过,没孩子的时候,还好些,现在,多个孩子,晚上7点后,就算是宵禁了。他一睡,咱们就出不去了。”李栋说,“想到国内小夫妻,总是把孩子交给爷爷奶奶,或者外公外婆带,我挺感激我老婆的,在没有老人的帮助下,把孩子养得挺好的,她也不容易。”

       较少接触社会和没人说话等问题,导致轻度抑郁,这在西方人群里很普遍。李栋说:“抑郁问题现在还无法解决,希望以后会好。不过,我还是很佩服这里的妈妈们,就和老公两个人,带着3个,甚至4个孩子,生活还很滋润。”

    When the wet nurse in Sydney, very tired! , At 19:20 on January 11, 2012, Shanghai Overseas Chinese News

    Graduating from college in 2006, Li Dong and her girlfriend went to Sydney to continue their studies and life. They planned a long time ago this is a good thing. School, marriage, green card, naturalization, all according to plan with, of course, was carried out stumbling.

    Li Dong in 2010, it is worth bearing in mind the year. Li Dong is the son, a husband, a migrant workers, are friends and classmates. In November 2010, his identity, the addition of one: his father. Then in 2011, he has been to balance the fathers, husbands, migrant workers, the identity of these three efforts.

    In 2010, Li Dong’s wife insisted to let the children born in China. Second half of 2010, Li Dong accompanied his wife back home to be produced. November 2010, the child was born. In early 2011, son of Li Dong end up wait, alone to return to Australia, as with domestic Nianger Liang is also getting ready for the future reunion.

    Reporters / BU micro-Pei

    From cashiers to practice manager

    The identity of a migrant workers, living in Australia, which Li Dong is with this country has no strangeness. As early as in the Master, when Li Dong has been in Australia looking for part-time, and not the same as some other Chinese students, Li Dong has been the enterprise aim at whites, he said: Only enter this business, truly integrated into Australian society .

    It should be said, the first step in Li Dong is a very exciting choice.

    In 2007, Li Dong joined him in Australia, and also the first life on the road interview, apply for jobs, is similar in a Carrefour hypermarket in the country when the cashier. This major supermarkets sell a variety of electronic devices.

    Interview process is not easy, the first group of 20 individuals, for scenario play, then, is one to one interviews. “At that time, I arrived in Australia three months, English interview, really made me to sweat.” Li Dong said.

    Fortunately, all goes well, a few days later, Li Dong got the job.

    Remembers the first job, Li Dong feelings is very complicated. This work brought him a lot of gains, but also indirectly caused some distress later.

    “Done for some time, I work from a simple cash register, sales began to favor the work.” Li Dong said, “this time, gave me the perfect opportunity to practice your English, my English is leaps and bounds. Plus I very interested in technology products, a very good impression on my boss. ”

    In Li Dong graduated long ago, specifically looking for the boss to talk to him, asked him: willing to remain a trainee manager in supermarkets?

    Dong Li accepted the invitation of a trainee manager. His idea is that in the period when the practice manager, while making money, while looking the other related to the accounting profession and his work. Soon, he found: his mistake was a mess.

    Successful in the supermarket work experience, career development so that some of Li Dong “stagnant.”

    “A good opportunity to come into my head too early, let me lazy a, I think: so smooth in the supermarket when the other students began looking for part-time and professional work related to my work in supermarkets, it is clear I later career, did not help. “Li Dong explained:” practice manager and the general impression of the manager, worlds apart, in addition to holding a manager in the minimum wage, the rest, is the need to work than others longer and more complex dry more dirty job. “Despite this status through the practice manager, Li Dong opportunity to meet the company’s other executives, it was recommended to him jobs, but there is no chance and the time Li Dong to candidates.

    “For working 10-12 hours a day for me, like Teng time out to write resumes, find other work, is simply daydreaming.”

    Mid-2010, a two-week high fever, gave Li Dong a opportunity to leave the mall. At this point, and his girlfriend went to Sydney, has become his wife, and, already pregnant. Thus, Li Dong resigned from the original work is not intended to long dry, to accompany his wife to return children.

    Looking for work, such as the roller coaster

    In 2011, Li Dong as the advance team, alone return to Australia, his goal is there, again, stand firm, to his wife and children to create a good living environment.

    Before leaving, Li Dong has told friends that he was confident to find a good job. He felt: the Chinese in Australia is difficult to integrate into the local, only in a limited industry looking for work, mainly because of the language, but off. However, he said: After several years of sales, in the language, he has absolute confidence.

    However, after five months unemployed, Li Dong nothing, only to change the itinerary, in the end of May 2011, again returned to China. Summing up the experience of five months of the candidates, Li Dong think: is their over-confident, even arrogant, and ultimately led to nothing.

    In early 2011, Li Donggang to Sydney soon after by the local banks, one of the four interview. Everything proceeded smoothly, at the official before the final process, the background investigation. Unexpectedly, the bank said: Li Dong provided the content is not real, therefore, refused him.

    Since then, Li Dong has been looking for local “Outstanding Graduate Scheme”, to senior positions for graduates who work and other social recruitment of the ordinary jobs, are they disdain. These “outstanding graduates plan” admission units in proportion, and China to recruit staff positions similar to the popular, the competition is fierce.

    “As a result, my foolish pride, I had time to eat solidly burned.” Li Dong said, those days, in addition to pressure, his confidence, but also as a failure of one of the candidates, and the lowest level . Family feel: he should return to rest it.

    Stay in the country this time, Li Dong for their five-month experience, summarized: “I should go to some of the profit-making nature of the training institution and the recommended mix of experience, when I do is keep their delivery resume, after investigating the background of each company, under the circumstances, to modify the contents of resumes and application forms in answer to the question, really has done a lot of effort. But now want to come, should spend the same time, to deliver a wider range of social recruitment, or even take the initiative on the employer’s company, volunteered. ”

    July 2011, Li Dong and his wife, with their children, returned to Australia, began a second journey to find a job. That time, only in the first half of the “graduate program” has ended. Li Dong even after reflection, pride restraint, but to a limited extent. In the following candidates, especially in the relevant field experience, have a higher recruitment requirements of the society, he still frequently run into a wall, although some interview, however, are fruitless.

    Li Dong from a recent work, is the candidate of a large insurance company’s internal project management analyst. When the time for the final step, the other very politely said he was good, but they think: someone else more appropriate.

    The end of August, a bank’s local area manager for Dial-a-Dong Li: There is no time to look at the interview? Before, Li Dong in the bank cast a resume, candidates are a temporary worker. “At that time, the last of the interviewer, a French woman is not hiring me.” Li Dong said.

    Upon receipt of the bank regional manager of the phone, Li Dong gave almost forgot this bank, but he is very careful to prepare them.

    The interviewer, is a brawny 40-year-old, is the regional manager to call him. He and Li Dong talked less than five minutes, said: “You know what? You are hired.” The next day, Li Dong officially to work.

    Li Dong has remembered five minutes, all seems unbelievable. He said: “I do not know such a short time, he took a fancy to me what.”

    Spend more time with their children

    As his father’s life, is always trivial and monotonous. Li Dong can not guarantee that he is a good father, but since he is willing to spend time as a father and child together.

    Newborn child had never been seen, Li Dong almost nothing will. Taught in the mother and the wife’s mother several times, changing diapers, feeding, bathing, with the baby, etc., he had the whole package.

    His wife during confinement, Li Dongping all day, total sleep no more than 5 hours, no weekends, no day and night of the points. “During this time, the heart and sometimes there have been complaints, sometimes think that if the child does not like, but soon complained, he was replaced by a sense of responsibility, especially in children after six months of age, a family of three, one in Sydney time. “Li Dong said.

    July 2011, Li Dong did not work more than a month, every day, and their wives and children to be together, life is very regular.

    Found the full-time work, Li Dong remained a regular live, daytime child care tasks, the basic completion of the wife.

    Li Dong to work around 7:00, about the same time the children woke up, my wife got up and began the day job housewife, looking after the children. After work, Li Dong home, the first thing is to wash, feed your baby to eat dinner, then play with him for an hour. Next, take a bath, drink before going to bed, the last milk, sleep. Seven days a week, holidays, round, every day.

    Let Li Dong feel the most when the father is

    Coax the child to sleep. “The most tired children, is to let him sleep on time to ensure his sleep, and sleep enough, this is not easy to live.”

    Li Dong unemployed at home, he felt his son quite honest. I do not know how, he began to work, her son suddenly started not good sleep. “I do everything possible to find ways, reading, counseling, many times, sum up experience. Book recommendations: In the case of no eye contact, to put a small child lying in bed, if the child stood up to put on.”

    When children do not sleep good, Li Dong has continuously picked up, put down 40 to 50 times, and finally flatter the child fell asleep. “This accomplishment is enormous, and I’ve heard, many domestic father, my mother in this, have to surrender, in our own insistence, was a success.” Li Dong said.

    “As a father, especially in children six months old, I always accompany him, came in first, to ensure there is enough time to play with him, but also to his wife a chance to rest. And father than their peers I take care of the child’s skills, even more powerful when some of my friends loudly calling his wife to give his daughter when changing diapers, I took a direct diapers, go into battle, because, I believe: that is not only a manifestation of rest to his wife, but also understand when my father involved in a fun for my wife and kids, I always put them first, no person or thing – are much more important than they. ”

    His wife’s psychological adjustment is the most difficult

    “I’m lazy, stay in bed, drag and dirty, I have these bad habits.” Li Dong said, “So, I think: a good husband own a lot of money due diligence.” In 2007, Li Dong and his wife to go abroad after , almost every meal, are responsible for his wife, washing dishes after a meal, a large part, is his wife completed.

    Exception occurred in the Li Dong early last year and moved to Australia to find work. Left his wife, Li Dong’s life, immediately turmoil of. During that time, early, when he was six points, to get up late, then get up at 3 pm, and there have been. He almost all the time, are cast with a resume and resume writing, and life there is no law at all.

    In order to change their habits, Li Dong established a rule for himself, did not find a job, do not go out to eat or takeout. This point, he did every day burning meal, eat one day, or eat wonton noodles, so simple.

    First arrived in Australia on access to the cash register work, so that Li Dong and his wife’s life, and instantly become enriched. They occasionally go out to dinner, holidays often go out shopping, fun Li Dong, also bought the then-new game consoles and high definition television.

    Li Dong said: his responsibility as a husband, and a large part of the work linked. “In the beginning of the work, so I was less a sense of crisis, and now want to come, gradually come to realize: I am a failure as a husband began.”

    Just pregnant wife, Li Dong is still practice manager positions. “Home from work at night, at least 7, at home, started cooking and cooking for my wife to eat. Balance work and home, I really stretched in time, especially pregnant women sometimes want to eat something in particular when you do not get the shortest possible time, then, the basic meal, no appetite. “Li Dong said.

    On one occasion, his wife wanted to eat Korean noodles, Li Dong, the only way to meet this requirement, is to store to buy South Korea, and fast. Li Dong noodles do not know – what to say in English, but do not know what to say in Korean. He had to go to the supermarket, bought a packet of instant noodles Korean fried bean sauce, gestures to tell the store – their own requirements, so that ran five stores, he finally bought. “Fortunately, not far from these stores, came back, my wife still appetite.”

    Two balanced life, eventually Li Dong became ill, and this is prompting him from the practice manager’s position – that the resignation of a high fever of up to 2 weeks. Fortunately this time, his mother, flew from China to help.

    “Balance work and family, really is not so easy to imagine, in particular, no other family members in time of need – to help one’s case, everything must carry their own up, though, the bank’s job is not busy, but day on the road, spent two and a half hour drive, I with my family a lot less time, 7 am, it is necessary to go out, at home, around 6:00 to 6:30 between watching the wife children all day, my heart is somewhat not bear. “a weekend or holiday, Li Dong as much as possible to help his wife with children. One weekend, Li Dong children play on the initiative. But when it comes to his wife psychological adjustment and relax, he can do nothing of.

    Because, to care for their children at home, so the mother of the Australian family and social contacts will become less prone to anger, for anything, have no interest, lack of goals, and other emotions. Li Dong home, is no exception.

    “My wife already introverted, coupled with language problems, and gradually the community here is not interested before, in fact, there are such signs, however, no child, but also better, now, more than one child, after 7 pm , even a curfew. he slept, we would not get out. “Li Dong said,” think of the domestic small husband and wife, always the child to the grandparents, or grandparents with, I am very grateful to my wife, in the absence of help the elderly, raise children, quite good, she is not easy. ”

    Less contact with the community and no one to speak and so on, leading to mild depression, which is very common in Western populations. Dong Li said: “The depression is still not resolved, hope will be better, but I still admire the mothers here, and her husband on two people, with three or even four children, life is still very moist.”

评论已关闭。