在悉尼当奶爸，很tired！ ,2012年01月11日 19:20,上海侨报
When the wet nurse in Sydney, very tired! , At 19:20 on January 11, 2012, Shanghai Overseas Chinese News
Graduating from college in 2006, Li Dong and her girlfriend went to Sydney to continue their studies and life. They planned a long time ago this is a good thing. School, marriage, green card, naturalization, all according to plan with, of course, was carried out stumbling.
Li Dong in 2010, it is worth bearing in mind the year. Li Dong is the son, a husband, a migrant workers, are friends and classmates. In November 2010, his identity, the addition of one: his father. Then in 2011, he has been to balance the fathers, husbands, migrant workers, the identity of these three efforts.
In 2010, Li Dong’s wife insisted to let the children born in China. Second half of 2010, Li Dong accompanied his wife back home to be produced. November 2010, the child was born. In early 2011, son of Li Dong end up wait, alone to return to Australia, as with domestic Nianger Liang is also getting ready for the future reunion.
Reporters / BU micro-Pei
From cashiers to practice manager
The identity of a migrant workers, living in Australia, which Li Dong is with this country has no strangeness. As early as in the Master, when Li Dong has been in Australia looking for part-time, and not the same as some other Chinese students, Li Dong has been the enterprise aim at whites, he said: Only enter this business, truly integrated into Australian society .
It should be said, the first step in Li Dong is a very exciting choice.
In 2007, Li Dong joined him in Australia, and also the first life on the road interview, apply for jobs, is similar in a Carrefour hypermarket in the country when the cashier. This major supermarkets sell a variety of electronic devices.
Interview process is not easy, the first group of 20 individuals, for scenario play, then, is one to one interviews. “At that time, I arrived in Australia three months, English interview, really made me to sweat.” Li Dong said.
Fortunately, all goes well, a few days later, Li Dong got the job.
Remembers the first job, Li Dong feelings is very complicated. This work brought him a lot of gains, but also indirectly caused some distress later.
“Done for some time, I work from a simple cash register, sales began to favor the work.” Li Dong said, “this time, gave me the perfect opportunity to practice your English, my English is leaps and bounds. Plus I very interested in technology products, a very good impression on my boss. ”
In Li Dong graduated long ago, specifically looking for the boss to talk to him, asked him: willing to remain a trainee manager in supermarkets?
Dong Li accepted the invitation of a trainee manager. His idea is that in the period when the practice manager, while making money, while looking the other related to the accounting profession and his work. Soon, he found: his mistake was a mess.
Successful in the supermarket work experience, career development so that some of Li Dong “stagnant.”
“A good opportunity to come into my head too early, let me lazy a, I think: so smooth in the supermarket when the other students began looking for part-time and professional work related to my work in supermarkets, it is clear I later career, did not help. “Li Dong explained:” practice manager and the general impression of the manager, worlds apart, in addition to holding a manager in the minimum wage, the rest, is the need to work than others longer and more complex dry more dirty job. “Despite this status through the practice manager, Li Dong opportunity to meet the company’s other executives, it was recommended to him jobs, but there is no chance and the time Li Dong to candidates.
“For working 10-12 hours a day for me, like Teng time out to write resumes, find other work, is simply daydreaming.”
Mid-2010, a two-week high fever, gave Li Dong a opportunity to leave the mall. At this point, and his girlfriend went to Sydney, has become his wife, and, already pregnant. Thus, Li Dong resigned from the original work is not intended to long dry, to accompany his wife to return children.
Looking for work, such as the roller coaster
In 2011, Li Dong as the advance team, alone return to Australia, his goal is there, again, stand firm, to his wife and children to create a good living environment.
Before leaving, Li Dong has told friends that he was confident to find a good job. He felt: the Chinese in Australia is difficult to integrate into the local, only in a limited industry looking for work, mainly because of the language, but off. However, he said: After several years of sales, in the language, he has absolute confidence.
However, after five months unemployed, Li Dong nothing, only to change the itinerary, in the end of May 2011, again returned to China. Summing up the experience of five months of the candidates, Li Dong think: is their over-confident, even arrogant, and ultimately led to nothing.
In early 2011, Li Donggang to Sydney soon after by the local banks, one of the four interview. Everything proceeded smoothly, at the official before the final process, the background investigation. Unexpectedly, the bank said: Li Dong provided the content is not real, therefore, refused him.
Since then, Li Dong has been looking for local “Outstanding Graduate Scheme”, to senior positions for graduates who work and other social recruitment of the ordinary jobs, are they disdain. These “outstanding graduates plan” admission units in proportion, and China to recruit staff positions similar to the popular, the competition is fierce.
“As a result, my foolish pride, I had time to eat solidly burned.” Li Dong said, those days, in addition to pressure, his confidence, but also as a failure of one of the candidates, and the lowest level . Family feel: he should return to rest it.
Stay in the country this time, Li Dong for their five-month experience, summarized: “I should go to some of the profit-making nature of the training institution and the recommended mix of experience, when I do is keep their delivery resume, after investigating the background of each company, under the circumstances, to modify the contents of resumes and application forms in answer to the question, really has done a lot of effort. But now want to come, should spend the same time, to deliver a wider range of social recruitment, or even take the initiative on the employer’s company, volunteered. ”
July 2011, Li Dong and his wife, with their children, returned to Australia, began a second journey to find a job. That time, only in the first half of the “graduate program” has ended. Li Dong even after reflection, pride restraint, but to a limited extent. In the following candidates, especially in the relevant field experience, have a higher recruitment requirements of the society, he still frequently run into a wall, although some interview, however, are fruitless.
Li Dong from a recent work, is the candidate of a large insurance company’s internal project management analyst. When the time for the final step, the other very politely said he was good, but they think: someone else more appropriate.
The end of August, a bank’s local area manager for Dial-a-Dong Li: There is no time to look at the interview? Before, Li Dong in the bank cast a resume, candidates are a temporary worker. “At that time, the last of the interviewer, a French woman is not hiring me.” Li Dong said.
Upon receipt of the bank regional manager of the phone, Li Dong gave almost forgot this bank, but he is very careful to prepare them.
The interviewer, is a brawny 40-year-old, is the regional manager to call him. He and Li Dong talked less than five minutes, said: “You know what? You are hired.” The next day, Li Dong officially to work.
Li Dong has remembered five minutes, all seems unbelievable. He said: “I do not know such a short time, he took a fancy to me what.”
Spend more time with their children
As his father’s life, is always trivial and monotonous. Li Dong can not guarantee that he is a good father, but since he is willing to spend time as a father and child together.
Newborn child had never been seen, Li Dong almost nothing will. Taught in the mother and the wife’s mother several times, changing diapers, feeding, bathing, with the baby, etc., he had the whole package.
His wife during confinement, Li Dongping all day, total sleep no more than 5 hours, no weekends, no day and night of the points. “During this time, the heart and sometimes there have been complaints, sometimes think that if the child does not like, but soon complained, he was replaced by a sense of responsibility, especially in children after six months of age, a family of three, one in Sydney time. “Li Dong said.
July 2011, Li Dong did not work more than a month, every day, and their wives and children to be together, life is very regular.
Found the full-time work, Li Dong remained a regular live, daytime child care tasks, the basic completion of the wife.
Li Dong to work around 7:00, about the same time the children woke up, my wife got up and began the day job housewife, looking after the children. After work, Li Dong home, the first thing is to wash, feed your baby to eat dinner, then play with him for an hour. Next, take a bath, drink before going to bed, the last milk, sleep. Seven days a week, holidays, round, every day.
Let Li Dong feel the most when the father is
Coax the child to sleep. “The most tired children, is to let him sleep on time to ensure his sleep, and sleep enough, this is not easy to live.”
Li Dong unemployed at home, he felt his son quite honest. I do not know how, he began to work, her son suddenly started not good sleep. “I do everything possible to find ways, reading, counseling, many times, sum up experience. Book recommendations: In the case of no eye contact, to put a small child lying in bed, if the child stood up to put on.”
When children do not sleep good, Li Dong has continuously picked up, put down 40 to 50 times, and finally flatter the child fell asleep. “This accomplishment is enormous, and I’ve heard, many domestic father, my mother in this, have to surrender, in our own insistence, was a success.” Li Dong said.
“As a father, especially in children six months old, I always accompany him, came in first, to ensure there is enough time to play with him, but also to his wife a chance to rest. And father than their peers I take care of the child’s skills, even more powerful when some of my friends loudly calling his wife to give his daughter when changing diapers, I took a direct diapers, go into battle, because, I believe: that is not only a manifestation of rest to his wife, but also understand when my father involved in a fun for my wife and kids, I always put them first, no person or thing – are much more important than they. ”
His wife’s psychological adjustment is the most difficult
“I’m lazy, stay in bed, drag and dirty, I have these bad habits.” Li Dong said, “So, I think: a good husband own a lot of money due diligence.” In 2007, Li Dong and his wife to go abroad after , almost every meal, are responsible for his wife, washing dishes after a meal, a large part, is his wife completed.
Exception occurred in the Li Dong early last year and moved to Australia to find work. Left his wife, Li Dong’s life, immediately turmoil of. During that time, early, when he was six points, to get up late, then get up at 3 pm, and there have been. He almost all the time, are cast with a resume and resume writing, and life there is no law at all.
In order to change their habits, Li Dong established a rule for himself, did not find a job, do not go out to eat or takeout. This point, he did every day burning meal, eat one day, or eat wonton noodles, so simple.
First arrived in Australia on access to the cash register work, so that Li Dong and his wife’s life, and instantly become enriched. They occasionally go out to dinner, holidays often go out shopping, fun Li Dong, also bought the then-new game consoles and high definition television.
Li Dong said: his responsibility as a husband, and a large part of the work linked. “In the beginning of the work, so I was less a sense of crisis, and now want to come, gradually come to realize: I am a failure as a husband began.”
Just pregnant wife, Li Dong is still practice manager positions. “Home from work at night, at least 7, at home, started cooking and cooking for my wife to eat. Balance work and home, I really stretched in time, especially pregnant women sometimes want to eat something in particular when you do not get the shortest possible time, then, the basic meal, no appetite. “Li Dong said.
On one occasion, his wife wanted to eat Korean noodles, Li Dong, the only way to meet this requirement, is to store to buy South Korea, and fast. Li Dong noodles do not know – what to say in English, but do not know what to say in Korean. He had to go to the supermarket, bought a packet of instant noodles Korean fried bean sauce, gestures to tell the store – their own requirements, so that ran five stores, he finally bought. “Fortunately, not far from these stores, came back, my wife still appetite.”
Two balanced life, eventually Li Dong became ill, and this is prompting him from the practice manager’s position – that the resignation of a high fever of up to 2 weeks. Fortunately this time, his mother, flew from China to help.
“Balance work and family, really is not so easy to imagine, in particular, no other family members in time of need – to help one’s case, everything must carry their own up, though, the bank’s job is not busy, but day on the road, spent two and a half hour drive, I with my family a lot less time, 7 am, it is necessary to go out, at home, around 6:00 to 6:30 between watching the wife children all day, my heart is somewhat not bear. “a weekend or holiday, Li Dong as much as possible to help his wife with children. One weekend, Li Dong children play on the initiative. But when it comes to his wife psychological adjustment and relax, he can do nothing of.
Because, to care for their children at home, so the mother of the Australian family and social contacts will become less prone to anger, for anything, have no interest, lack of goals, and other emotions. Li Dong home, is no exception.
“My wife already introverted, coupled with language problems, and gradually the community here is not interested before, in fact, there are such signs, however, no child, but also better, now, more than one child, after 7 pm , even a curfew. he slept, we would not get out. “Li Dong said,” think of the domestic small husband and wife, always the child to the grandparents, or grandparents with, I am very grateful to my wife, in the absence of help the elderly, raise children, quite good, she is not easy. ”
Less contact with the community and no one to speak and so on, leading to mild depression, which is very common in Western populations. Dong Li said: “The depression is still not resolved, hope will be better, but I still admire the mothers here, and her husband on two people, with three or even four children, life is still very moist.”